


and i'll be home

by n7punk



Series: Outside of the War - She-ra canon stories [13]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:07:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26406976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/n7punk/pseuds/n7punk
Summary: Catra has vanished all her life. Into the bowels of the Fright Zone, in the heat of battle, in the face of consequences. It is not a habit she plans on breaking when she arrives in Bright Moon, but she agrees to warn Adora before she leaves.Then Adora wakes up to an empty bed.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Series: Outside of the War - She-ra canon stories [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1793227
Comments: 16
Kudos: 430





	and i'll be home

**Author's Note:**

> This has been mentioned in a few other of my fics, but I thought it was time to finally expand on it as its own story.  
> Mostly set in the first 2-3 weeks post-canon.

The first time Catra does it after the war, she does not actually _do_ it.

The first full day in Bright Moon is trying. It is a flurry of activity, planning, meetings, and _people_. Catra is there on Adora’s arm – or, more accurately, in her lap, holding her still so her body can rest and recover – but somehow she gets roped into helping herself. By the end of the day Glimmer has basically adopted her as an advisor. Suddenly Catra is the one being pulled around, Adora trailing after her happily.

Work, Catra can do. She can compartmentalize and focus on completing a task – it is how she nearly led a conquering army to victory. What Catra cannot do is deal with _people_. Adora is obviously easy to talk to, as are Glimmer and Bow, surprisingly. Even Entrapta and a few of the other princesses she can naturally hold conversation with. When dealing with anybody else – other members of the rebellion, castle staff, grateful citizens pouring in to thank She-ra – Catra finds she does not know how to talk to people without the protective guise of manipulation. It feels wild, uncontrolled, unsafe. She no longer has the social shield of uncaring distance and schemes protecting her, and it makes every conversation feel like a minefield when it suddenly _matters_ if she says the wrong thing, if she hurts someone by accident.

At least in meetings she can focus on tasks, on work. At least the strangers pouring in are mostly here for the Princess Alliance and She-ra. When a crowd forms around Adora, Catra hangs back against the wall with Melog, just like she used to do when they were cadets. Back then it was suck-ups talking about Adora’s scores and trying to steal her away from Catra. Now it is grateful citizens who do not even know who _Adora_ is, who only care about She-ra. The principle is still the same. Catra hates being the center of attention, for all she wants to be noticed and recognized by those around her. Crowds are not her thing – especially not crowds fawning over her _girlfriend_.

Catra gets overwhelmed. Melog curls around her and trills soothingly as she strokes their back, centering her. When she feels solid enough to look up from the little comforting corner Melog has created for her, she finds Adora watching her with shining worry in her eyes. People are still talking around her, talking _to_ her, but Adora is paying them no attention. Catra finds her breath catching at being the sole focus of Adora’s attention – at being so important that Adora ignores _praise_ for her. She sends Adora a watery smile she hopes is reassuring.

 _I’m okay out here_ , she hopes it says. Adora never draws these crowds closer to Catra. She knows better than that, knows that Catra always hated it when they were kids – and she is right in assuming she would still hate it now.

Adora extracts herself from the crowd with a great amount of effort. Catra watches her approach out of the side of her eye, feeling how her breathing eases a bit as Adora comes to stand before her and take her hand in hers.

“I could use some air. Let me show you the castle gardens?” Adora asks, concerned and hopeful.

She doesn’t need air, Catra is certain. She nods anyway, grateful for the distraction.

\--

After that, it becomes a thing. Every day, sometimes multiple times a day, Catra slips away with Adora and Melog to wander the gardens, mercifully private. She sees other people out there, sometimes – a few gardeners, Perfuma once or twice, some castle staff relaxing, Glimmer and Bow leaned against each other on a bench – but it almost feels like the gardens are a truce zone. No one ever approaches her or even each other, at least as far as she can tell.

It is the sixth day when she does it for the ninth time - but really it is the first, too. She slips away to the gardens, but _this_ time she does not tell anyone where she is going.

It was an overwhelming meeting. Glimmer had turned to her on advice on organizing Fright Zone deconstruction – Catra’s personal pet project, one she had proposed herself – and one of the members of Glimmer’s court had cut in none-too-politely to ask if they should really be _trusting_ Catra with such a project. Glimmer had been indignant on Catra’s behalf as Catra had bristled. The way Glimmer immediately dismissed the concerns warmed Catra’s heart and comforted her enough to retract her claws from where she had dug them into her chair’s arms, but she was still unsettled afterwards. She is _trying_ , and that should be enough for people – it is enough for everyone who matters, at least. The second the meeting is over she flees, Melog cloaking her so the stupid, judgmental court cannot follow her.

It is not like the people she cares about do not know where she is going, anyway - except she does not make it there. She feels jittery, defensive, and when she sees a pair of guards walking up the hall towards her, blocking her path to outside, she ducks into the first room she recognizes off to the side. She ends up in the dining room, mercifully empty, and lets out a ragged breath.

 _Up?_ Melog questions. Catra follows their gaze up to the rafters. It is not a bad idea. She looks down to them and nods, grateful. They set off together, climbing up to the elevated crossbeams and draping across them. Catra lets the privacy, the safety of heights only she can reach, the _silence_ wash over her. Slowly, she lets her eyes drift closed and concentrates on evening her breathing.

Catra has always needed time alone. When she was a kitten she would hide under the bunk, or in storage closets. Once she started to get some strength and agility, she would take to climbing. The other cadets couldn’t follow her to pull on her tail, or blow in her ears, or jeer at her. It also meant hiding from Adora, sometimes – but sometimes that was needed, too, when the other girl was making her feel rioting emotions she could not control.

Adora understood that Catra needed to hide, needed the safety of solitude sometimes. She also came to know many of her hiding spots for when that _solitude_ did not extend to include herself. That was all before Adora left the Horde.

Catra’s vanishing act became rarer. She had an army to run, she could not just ignore it. She became very good at compartmentalizing – ignoring – her emotions, dulling the urge to run or climb high up. She still would often curl up in hidden corners and high ledges when she needed to sleep, especially towards the end when the comfort of her bunk only invited nightmares, but she tried to keep her feet on the ground, in sight.

Now Catra is trying to actually feel her emotions – and worse, other peoples’ – the urge to climb the walls, to hide away in dark corners or empty gardens returns with full force. She needs to get away, to be safe, just for a little while.

Catra stays on the rafter until her tail is no longer twitching involuntarily. The sun is just starting to set, so she leaps back down to the ground and starts to make her way towards Bow’s workshop. Adora should be in there now, helping him rearrange his equipment to make room for more. They have been walking in the evenings, when Catra finishes with Glimmer and Adora gets a break, just as a time dedicated to rebuilding _them_. They may have fallen back into each other like second nature, but there is still work to do between them.

When Catra arrives at Bow’s workshop, no one is there. She frowns at the empty room, tail twitching uneasily. Catra feels the worry beginning to work its way into her veins and pushes it down, turning on her heel and heading out to the garden on her own. If Adora is not there, then something worth worrying about may have actually happened. She makes herself stay collected until she gets outside.

She releases the breath she was holding when she sees Adora there, sitting with her back to her on a stone bench just past the steps to outside. Catra begins to make her way towards Adora, but Melog takes off running ahead of her. As she descends the stairs, she watches Adora startle when Melog appears from behind her, nuzzling into her hands.

“Melog! You’re here! I’m so happy to see you-“ Adora gasps, relief in her voice _evident_. Catra frowns as Adora looks up from Melog, gaze sweeping the area in a clear search before she lands on Catra. Her breath almost stops at the instant relief and joy that breaks across Adora’s face. Catra is running towards her before she even realizes what she is doing.

Adora rises to meet her, Melog just barely managing to leap out of the way in time before Adora is pulling her in to a crushing hug. The obvious worry and corresponding relief make her arms shake just a bit as she clutches Catra close.

“Adora? Are you okay?” Catra asks, raising her arms to wrap them around Adora’s waist in turn. Adora nods into her shoulder. She pulls back enough to look down at Catra, smiling down at her now as she raises a hand to her cheek. Catra nuzzles into the touch, openly accepting it in an effort to calm Adora. Even though she is clearly happy now, she also clearly _wasn’t_ a few moments ago.

Adora’s gaze shifts, an edge of desperation entering it as her eyes flick down to Catra’s lips for a brief moment before she is leaning in and kissing her firmly. The hand on her cheek tilts her head back as a gentle purr rolls through her next few breaths. When they pull apart, it is only by inches. Adora still has an arm around her back and Catra still has hers wrapped around Adora’s waist. Adora’s body is a warm presence against her, and after the stress of the day it is exactly what she needs.

Adora gazes down at her with open love, clearly drinking in the sight of her face so close to her despite it being far from the first time they have kissed in the last few days. It is not even they first time they have kissed _today_. Catra shivers from the devoted attention, pressing in a little closer against Adora. She flicks her tail around, loosely wrapping it around the backs of Adora’s legs and sending a clear message they are not pulling apart. Adora does not seem to mind – Catra is fairly certain she had no plans to do so anyway.

Adora clears her throat. “Glimmer said you ran off after the meeting,” she says, a little cautiously, an edge of worry creeping back into her gaze. Catra suddenly understands what this was all about. She swallows, nuzzling in against Adora. She feels Adora relax against her, but she could do _more_. She needs to assure her, after she has clearly been fighting this fear that Catra left again. It takes her a moment to work up the nerve to do what she thinks she should, though.

She has not done this since a few months before the war, when they were both about seventeen and Shadow Weaver had taken Adora away for a full day to play whatever creepy mind games she liked to use to completely destroy Adora’s sense of self. Adora had returned, clearly trying to pretend she was fine, clearly trying to _be_ fine, and Catra had quickly led her into a darkened storage closet she liked to use to hide out. She needed to assure Adora _someone_ loved her – she needed to show her that no matter what she said, Shadow Weaver and her stupid plans were not the only things that mattered.

Catra does exactly what she did then. She presses in close to Adora, stretching up on her toes slightly because Adora insists on being _tall_ and wearing _boots_ for some reason, and nudges in beneath Adora’s jaw before turning her head and dragging a long mark underneath it. She feels Adora release a shaking breath beneath her, and for a moment she fears it is _too far_ for where they are now, but then both of Adora’s arms come up around her and clutch her close. Catra sags in relief against her, nudging to drag another scent-mark down the side of her neck.

“I was in the rafters. In the dining room. I just needed to be alone,” Catra explains, voice low. She does not pull back from Adora in the slightest, staying wrapped up in her embrace as she looks up to make eye contact with her again. Adora’s eyes are brimming with open love that threatens to take Catra’s breath away. Clearly the mark was not too far – clearly it was the right thing to do. It is not like Adora does not smell like Catra anyway, considering they sleep together and are in near-constant contact when they are around each other, but this is different, intentional and obvious.

“I was just worried,” Adora tells her, even though Catra more than figured that out already. She just nods, ears pinning back a bit in shame. Adora notices, expression immediately creasing as she rushes to assure her. “Hey, I know you need your space. You always have. That’s why I came out here to wait for you before I really panicked. Just… tell me next time? Especially if you know where you are going, I – if I know where I can find you, it will make it easier to know you are coming back,” Adora asks her, softly. There is an obvious concern in her voice, the unspoken question of _is this too far?_

Catra draws in a shaking breath. Anyone else, and it would be. Anyone else, and she would tell them to fuck off and give her space. “I’ll try to. Once I know my spots here I can show them to you. That way even if I vanish you can check. Right now I just have the rafters,” Catra promises her. The instant and obvious relief and appreciation from Adora assures her it was the right decision. Adora’s shoulders sag as the tension leeks out of her body. She cuddles Catra close, tucking her face in against her neck as she holds her for a long moment.

“And the garden,” Adora adds against her shoulder, softly, an attempt at humour. Catra shakes her head.

“The garden is different. That’s not hiding, it is – breathing,” Catra explains.

Over Adora’s shoulder, Catra can see Glimmer peeking out into the garden. She shoots Catra a thumbs up when she spots her and then withdraws. Catra rolls her eyes, but she just holds Adora closer.

\--

It ends up being simple to follow through on her promise. If she is with Adora, sometimes all she has to do is throw her a look and Adora understands where she is going, nodding and sending her a thankful smile. If she is not with her, she seeks her or one of her friends out and tells them she is going to be out of sight for a while. Sometimes she sends Melog to tell her, or just to stay with her until Catra gets back. Glimmer is the most frequent person to pass on the message, but occasionally the duty falls on someone else. Every time Catra discovers a new spot, she tells Adora about it.

Adora knew almost all her spots back in the Fright Zone. There were one or two Catra never bothered to tell her about, and those would be the ones she went to when it was Adora and her infuriating, perfect, pretty _face_ that she was running from, but for the most part she could find Catra if she needed to. Catra keeps up that tradition, showing Adora most of her hidden nooks and ledges, usually high up and shrouded in shadows from the ceiling if she can manage it.

The system works well – for two weeks.

Catra wakes up in a cold sweat, but she does not jolt awake. Her eyes fly open, but her body is so tense she cannot _move_. She does not remember much from the nightmare aside from _green_ , but her muscles are locked tight and her breathing erratic.

She casts her mind about the room and latches onto the calming rhythm of Adora’s breathing. Adora is by her side, a warm presence Catra can feel the radiating heat of now her body is processing past _fear_. It takes her a few moments of concentrating on the rhythm of Adora’s breathing and the comforting effect of her trusted scent, but Catra’s body slowly relaxes and she is finally laying against the sheets instead of locked by her own body against them.

She still is not getting back to sleep tonight. It is still dark out, though she can see the horizon is paling as dawn approaches. Carefully and quietly, she slips out of bed, finally rousing Melog from their slumber. They blink at her slowly in their sleep.

 _Climb_ , up the side of the castle, to the roof to take in the sunrise. It is a good image as it forms in her mind. She nods to Melog and they both make their way to the balcony. She pauses to glance back at Adora, assuring herself she is asleep, and then she climbs onto the balcony’s railing, beginning to scale up the side of the castle with her claws. It feels good, to actually work her muscles after having them locked up like that. Panting with exertion is calming after panting with fear. It makes the last of the adrenaline drain from her body – or at least replaces it with new, good adrenaline.

They don’t make it to the roof. Catra reaches a wide ledge and ends up sagging against it, adrenaline and fear suddenly leaving her. She is exhausted now, and even though she knows she likely will not sleep again, she lays out on the ledge and pillows her arms, watching the horizon through lidded eyes as she waits for the sunrise. Melog stretches out beside her.

It does not take long for sunrise to come. Catra drifts, a little, not fully awake but not asleep either. Dawn breaks, the world lighting up around her as movement begins to stir in the town below. Catra’s body is still exhausted, so she stays, curling into Melog’s side and throwing an arm over their back.

Eventually she has to leave though, to return to real life, so she reluctantly disengages from Melog’s side and sits up, shaking out her body to wake it. She does not bother to climb all the way down to their balcony – she does not have the energy, and there really is no need. She crawls through a nearby window, stretching out once she has room to move again and setting out through the castle hallways. It must be nearing breakfast now, but she returns to their room anyway. Adora should be waking soon, if she has not already, and Catra does not want to worry her.

When she returns to their room it is empty. She swallows, feeling the first sparks of worry in her chest, but Melog wraps around her legs and reassures her. Catra takes a few deep breaths, steadying herself, and goes to change from her sleep clothes. Her hands shake slightly as she does so, worry clearly not totally under control, but she manages to do it quickly and hurries down to breakfast. If Adora has left the room this soon after waking then she likely went there. If _Catra_ had woken with no sign of Adora, that is the first place she would check.

When she reaches breakfast it is nearly empty. Adora is not there, Glimmer is not there, and even Bow is missing.

King Micah – just Micah, now, he insisted at the Alliance meeting yesterday – is there, though. He looks up and blinks in surprise when he sees Catra. Catra hovers uncertainly in the doorway. Micah sends her a smile as Melog bumps their head softly against her back, encouraging her further inside. Catra shifts uncomfortably, trying to return the smile even as she wraps a protective arm around herself.

“Where is everyone?” she asks, approaching the table slowly. Micah looks at her, expression soft with – pity, maybe? No, kinder – empathy, maybe.

“I believe they are looking for you, child,” he tells her as she takes her seat. Catra feels the worry, and shame over _causing_ that worry, claw up in her throat. She has to fight not to bristle at the patronization, but at least it is not _kitty_ , the preferred jeer of the other cadets. Besides, he called Bow that the other day, too. “I am sure they will pop in when they finish checking the list of spots Adora has. It is probably best for you to just stay put,” he adds.

Catra swallows, nodding as her ears pin back in shame. She should have thought about Adora waking early before she left – she should have left a note or _something_ , anything to keep her from worrying like this when she woke. Micah is right, though – the list of spots she has found so far is fairly short. With the three of them looking, they will exhaust it quickly. Despite her worry, Adora has the appetite of a horse, so she will need to pop into breakfast to at least grab something before she continues her search or just settles in to _worry_. If Catra stays here, she is sure to intercept her.

Breakfast is near-torture. Micah seems determined to talk to her. She tries her best to respond to him, nervously glancing towards the door and wondering what is taking Adora so long. She eats her food in silence and then alternates between staring at her empty plate and watching the sun rise in the sky through the window. They should be _done_ by now.

Micah sighs as he looks towards the empty chairs. “I really thought it would be best if we just waited for them here, but it seems they were too focused to take a break,” he says, sending Catra an apologetic look. Catra shrinks in her chair. “Why don’t you go to your room to wait for Adora? I will make sure anyone who runs into them tells Adora you are there.”

Catra nods, relieved, and practically sprints from the room. She _needs_ Adora to find her. She needs them to be okay.

\--

She waits in their room, pacing and shaking a little. Melog grounds her, keeps her present, nudging their head into her trembling hands to give her something to hold. _Please don’t be mad_ , is all she can think. Eventually, she can’t keep pacing, still exhausted from not properly sleeping, and curls up at the foot of it. Melog blinks at her slowly, _judging her_ , but –

Adora is going to be upset. Best if she does not make Adora deal with her any more than she has to when she gets back. Catra has not slept at the foot of the bed once since before the Heart, but she knows she broke her promise. She may be a hypocrite sometimes, but she doesn’t want either of them to betray the other anymore. She curls herself into a ball, trying to ignore Melog’s attempts to break in as she mentally berates herself for not _leaving a fucking note_.

Her spiral of self-hatred gets interrupted by the door bursting open. Adora runs into the room, a little frantic, casting around desperately before her eyes find Catra. Catra feels her breath catch when their eyes meet. Distantly, she is aware of Bow and Glimmer just outside of the doorway, leaning in and then suddenly retreating once they have confirmed that Catra is, in fact, in the room. They close the door behind them. Catra is grateful. This is going to be bad.

Adora has been crying, she can tell. Not much, there are no tear tracks on her face or redness in her eyes, but Catra can smell the salt still lingering. She is breathing heavy from her sprint to their room, ponytail mysteriously gone or perhaps never put up for the day and her hair in disarray. Her cheeks are flushed – from anger, from exertion, or from worry, Catra is not sure. Her eyes are desperate, relieved, and nearly sickening to Catra, knowing she was the one to cause that.

“I’m sorry, I meant to be back-“ she manages to choke out before whatever spell was keeping Adora in place snaps. Adora crosses the room in only a few strides, gathering Catra up from the bed and causing her to squeak in the half-second before she is pulled into a bruising kiss. Desperate, longing, and worry all press against her lips. Catra feels her entire body sag with relief that Adora cannot be mad, at least, not if she is treating her like this. She tries to return the kiss as best she can, well aware she is shaking.

They part when there is no air left between them. Adora does not pull back, choosing to instead tuck Catra in against her chest. She pulls them towards the head of the bed and Catra lets herself be led. Adora pushes her back, forcing her onto her back and draping over her as a blanket of muscle. Catra feels herself shiver beneath the press of her girlfriend’s weight, an odd sense of calm washing over her. She knows Adora needs this – needs Catra pinned, to know she is _here_ – just as much as she wants the comfort.

“You never came to breakfast,” Catra whispers into her hair, because she does not know what else to say. Because she wants Adora to know she was _here_ , she was waiting for her. Adora laughs, small, relieved, _conflicted_.

“I was searching everywhere. I didn’t have time for a meal break. It didn’t occur to me that you were- here,” she tells Catra, finally able to pull back from her enough to prop up on her forearms and gaze down at Catra. She looks at her like she has been _starving_ without her, like she does not know how to breathe air if she cannot see her.

Catra _shakes_ under the intensity of Adora’s gaze, a slight glow contained within it, feeling her ears plaster to her head in worry. She loves Adora, she really, really does, but having all of Adora’s affection aimed at her at once can be _too much_ on a good day. This is what Adora needs right now, though, so she lets her eyes slip closed and her chin tilt back, body relaxed, _submitting_. Adora knows what she is doing. She releases a shaky breath and raises one hand to cup her cheek.

“I- I told you I wouldn’t leave again,” Catra tries, a weak attempt at reassurance. She did, on the second day. It is the only thing that kept Adora from really panicking that first time she vanished without warning.

She also promised to tell her when she was hiding. She knows why Adora reacted like she did.

“I know. I _want_ to believe you. It is hard to fight my own mind, though,” Adora whispers, quiet, as she strokes along Catra’s jaw. Catra’s entire world is framed by Adora, even if she is refusing to look at it. It is just past overwhelming, but she makes no effort to move or pull away.

“I had a nightmare and I just – needed to do something. I meant to climb to the roof. I ended up on a ledge. I thought I would be back before you woke up, but you were gone by then,” Catra explains, voice tinged with bitterness at her own stupidity. “I thought I would wait for you at breakfast. You never resist food,” she tells her, trying for teasing at the end. She still cannot open her eyes.

“Okay,” Adora accepts the explanation in a soft murmur. Catra feels a gentle kiss press against her jaw. Adora’s breath is hot on her face, making her fur stand on end.

“I’m sorry,” Catra tells her again, because she knows that was not _enough_. Knows if it had been Adora quietly leaving bed in the night Catra would have gone through a full-scale breakdown by now.

“I know. I _know_ how hard this is for you, Catra. And I’m so proud of you for being here, for wanting to fix things. I just- panicked when you weren’t here, and Melog was gone too, and I thought-“ Adora cuts off. They both know where that was going. _I thought you left, again_. Catra shivers as the unbidden image of Adora on her knees, clutching Catra’s bag in the middle of the Whispering Woods, floats forward in her mind.

Cautiously, Catra re-engages her arms, raising a hand to carefully fall blindly into Adora’s messy hair. “I am not leaving you again. I promise. I- I stayed with you at the Heart, Adora. I am not leaving _now_ ,” Catra promises, her throat tight. Adora shakes above her. Catra screws her eyes shut tighter as she feels a tear fall down onto her neck.

Adora is silent for several long moments. She presses forward, placing a whisper-soft line of kisses down Catra’s throat that has her whimpering just a little as her fur stands on end, unsure of what to do with the attention.

“I’m crushing you, aren’t I,” Adora says, suddenly, not a question so much as a realization. Physically, she is not. Adora is propped up on her forearm, baring the rest of the weight on her knees on either side of Catra’s legs. Emotionally, Adora is overwhelming her, completely surrounding her even without actually touching her that much. They both know what Adora means, anyway. Catra nods, eyes still closed.

She feels Adora pull away and tries to swallow on the self-loathing that blossoms in her throat. Before she can second guess herself, she snatches out for Adora, wrapping her arms around her and drawing her back in. She hears Adora start to protest and hisses to silence her, flipping them easily with Adora so thrown off. Adora stills beneath her and Catra finds herself finally able to open her eyes again. She blinks down at Adora.

Adora has a few tear trails on her face now. She still has pinched concern drawing her brows together, but a dawning expression of open love is blossoming on her face as she reaches up and lightly rests her hands on Catra’s shoulders. She knows how hard this is for Catra and she is _appreciating_ the effort she is putting in. It makes Catra shiver against her.

“I know sometimes after a dream like that you just need to move. I do that to, going for a run or to the gym to punch it out. If you think it would help at all, I would _really_ like for you to wake me up next time. But if not, just- leave me a note, please? And I’ll do the same for you, if I have a dream and need to work it out,” Adora asks, expression pleading. Catra shivers under her gaze, but she nods. She drops forward, pressing her nose against Adora’s pulse point to breathe in her girlfriend’s scent now the tirade of emotions is receding.

“I can do a note. I would have, if I had been thinking about it at the time,” Catra promises her. She feels like her head is buzzing from all the contact, from so much _Adora_ around her. Cautiously, Catra pulls away, watching Adora’s expression as she moves to lay beside her instead. Just a little more distance, a bit more breathing room. Adora watches her with an anxious expression up until the moment Catra relaxes into the bed, seeming to release the tension not just in her own body but in Adora’s face too.

“I’m staying,” Catra reminds her again, watching. A shiver runs down Adora’s spine as she turns onto her side to face Catra. She smiles at her, small but real, as she reaches out to stroke her cheek again.

“I know,” she breathes. Catra believes she is telling the truth.

\--

Catra vanishing is a long-established pattern. She finds somewhere high or dark until her emotions calm, until her senses are no longer working in overtime looking for danger, and she descends back down to the ground.

She tells Glimmer, or she sends Adora a look, or she sends Melog to find her and assure her while Catra tucks away. She leaves notes, promising to be back soon, assuring Adora that she just needs to breath for a while. Sometimes Adora comes looking for her, but for the most part she lets her run just like she did when they were cadets.

Catra finds she has to do it less. She finds, slowly, she is just as likely to run into Adora’s arms as the rafters. The realization makes her flush, ears pinning back in embarrassment despite it being an internal thought no one else can judge her for.

Melog mews at her side. Right, well – _almost_ no one else can judge her for it, and Melog never would.

The next time she wakes from a nightmare, ready to slip from bed and write a note, she stops herself. It is not that she has never taken Adora up on her offer to wake her should she need to, but she tries not to. She does not want to take sleep from Adora – Adora does that to herself enough on her own.

So she doesn’t wake her, but she does not leave either. She slips back into the sheets, carefully working her way into Adora’s arms again. Even in her sleep, Adora pulls her close and curls around her. Despite the way her limbs are shaking slightly from her dream, Catra purrs to herself, tucking herself beneath Adora’s chin and releasing a soft breath of relief at the feeling of safety all around her.

She still hides, sometimes. She still finds high perches and is unaccounted for except for a look thrown in her girlfriend’s direction – but for the first time in her life, even more so than when she was the general of the Horde, Catra’s feet largely stay on the ground.

When the ground is Bright Moon, it is safe in a way the Fright Zone never was. It is _home_ in a way the Fright Zone never could be. When Adora wakes up, Catra is still curled in her arms, and she growls at her playfully when Adora tries to get out of bed. Adora laughs, wrapping her tighter in her arms and committing them to a late morning. Catra purrs as she drapes herself across her girlfriend’s chest, Adora stroking slow pets down the length of her back.

 _This_ is real safety in a way all those high perches could only offer an allusion to. This is home.

**Author's Note:**

> [Catra's plan to tear apart the Fright Zone.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25883779)


End file.
